3 hours ago
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
A Good (Friend) is Hard to Find
I had the opportunity to meet up with an old friend from high school yesterday, sans le children. She was in town visiting her parents, taking a quick break from a hectic residency in Miami (she totally lives a Grey's Anatomy life!) I haven't seen her in several years, but when we gave each other a hug, it was like 10 years melted immediately away into a puddle on the floor of Panera Bread.
Three and a half talkative hours later (!), I left our lunch feeling as if we hadn't skipped a beat in our friendship, despite the time spent apart. My heart was happy to have had a chance to reconnect with someone who spent many high school and college hours with me shopping, hitting the movie theater, partying, gossiping, and shopping some more.
At the same time, I couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness, knowing that a good friend is hard to find. I don't normally pour my heart on the blog this way, and maybe it's a total turnoff to you.
But maybe there are other readers out there who feel the same way?
I think women are inherently programmed to seek out connections with others. I always feel a smile on my face when I meet someone who I can relate to, share with, talk about my feelings with. I love my husband, but he just doesn't get into Project Runway the way a girl friend does. He doesn't understand what it's like to be a mom, to want that pair of shoes so badly that your feet practically itch, or how I panic if I've left the house without earrings on.
I have dozens of friends. Wonderful, sweet, sassy, stylish, smart, encouraging friends. But I sometimes find myself wishing for deeper connections. Something beyond the everyday "Hi, howya doin?" type of connection.
It made me think of the lucky ladies travelling to Blissdom this week for the big bloggers' conference. Am I the only one who sometimes feels she's standing in the middle of a big, crowded conference room, surrounded by perfectly friendly, lovely people...but wishing for maybe just one person to really connect with? Someone to tell how you really feel, someone you can call to come over for a visit when you haven't vacuumed in a week, someone who will tell you that you need to stop wearing those pants because they make your butt look big.
I don't have anything wise or witty to impart today. I don't want to sound whiney or ungrateful for the wonderful women in my life.
I'm just honestly curious as to how many other ladies out there feel the same way that I do.
Flannery O'Connor wrote a short story in the 1950s called "A Good Man is Hard to Find." I think she might have had it wrong!