Thursday, January 29, 2009

Little Pitchers

I never mince words when it comes to what's on the radio in my car. I really, really hate those kids' CDs you can buy at the Christian bookstore, or Target, or wherever else they sell CDs these days (Does anyone even listen to CDs anymore? I love me some iTunes, but I digress). It's not so much that I hate the songs, I just have this sneaking suspicion that the "choir" is not really kids. Really. If you listen closely, most of the time it sounds like grown-ups putting on a child's voice--kind of like what you'd hear on a cartoon.

Lest you think I deprive my children of their childhood "right" to the musical masterpieces of "Hickory, Dickory Dock", "The Itsy Bitsy Spider," or "Old MacDonald," I will assure you that not only do I sing these songs (poorly) with the girls, but we also have an arrangement. Really, only Natalie is aware of it because Michaela Byrd still can't seem to stay awake in the car longer than about 10 minutes. Natalie knows that when we get to the bridge on the way to preschool, Mommy switches the radio over to her special kiddie CD which is loaded with all sorts of *fabulous* songs like "Do Your Ears Hang Low" and "Jack and Jill." It takes every ounce of my being to grit my teeth, put on my biggest smile, and sing along because I unfortunately purchased one of the CDs with the fakiest "children's" choir ever. You know it's totally a 47 year old woman in a cat sweatshirt singing, instead of the fresh-faced 4 year old they want you to think is belting out "This Little Light of Mine."

The rest of the time, the radio in the car is set to my personal favorites. I like to play a variety of stations so the girls aren't listening to the same music over and over. We listen to classical on the way to Target, oldies on the way to Mimi's, bluegrass on the way to Mom T's, and current pop on the way to the gym. But--- I. Love. Talk. Radio. Conservative Talk Radio. I love hearing the perspective of Glenn Beck, Limbaugh, Hannity, or Laura Ingram. They not only give the other side of the news that we don't get when watching CNN, ABC, or NBC, but they examine both sides of the argument. Intelligently, I might add, although the mainstream media likes to pan them off as a bunch of kooks.

Apparently, Natalie is also a fan of conservative talk radio. From time to time, I'll hear her repeat a phrase she hears.

"ObAma?" she'll say, emphasis on that middle "a." "I don't like ObAma. He wants to take Daddy's monies away."

"You have to be patient, my dear." (I think she heard that one from Limbaugh.)

We were on our way out to grab some dinner the other night, and I tuned in to the Mark Levin show. If you listen to Levin, you know he is brilliant, but has a tendency to do a lot of name-calling and yelling when he is frustrated with the stupidity of the other side. I was paying more attention to the road than to the show until I heard Natalie's high pitched voice pipe up from the back seat (Michaela was just saying "Go-Go" over and over).

"Cwap?" she repeated, her tone full of shock and reprove. "We don't say dat word."

Ummmm....(quickly switching to the kiddie CD)...."That's right, we don't say that word, honey." (Unless someone throws a large can of green beans on your big toe from the shopping cart in Wal-Mart and you try really really hard not to scream an even worse word, but "cwap" comes out anyways, and is muffled by the hand you have clamped over your mouth)

I guess it's true that "little pitchers have big ears." I guess it'll be "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" for us for awhile until Mr. Levin can tone down his vocabulary.



  1. What station do you listen to when the kids are asleep? You are sooo right about listening to the kids CDs. Some adults are getting paid big bucks for singing "fallsetta" or however you spell it!!

  2. You should get the Disney Classics CD's. They have all the songs from the movies on there performed by actual artists. And.....if you haven't heard of her yet you simply MUST own a Laurie Berkner Band CD.

  3. you need to write for a living.

  4. I wonder what would be on the radio if you would come to Iowa to visit me..."Home, Home on the Range" or maybe "Take Me Home Country Roads"?


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