Monday, January 26, 2009

Blast from the Past

I signed up for a sewing class at the local community center this morning. I know, this totally solidifies my place on the geek squad, but what the heck...if my obsession with LOST wasn't going to do it, this would. I am really looking forward to relearning to use my sewing machine and learning how to follow a pattern. I'd love to progress to making my own drapes, duvet covers, and clothes for the girls. I practically skipped out of the center with excitement...well, as much as one can skip with a baby in your arms.

Until I got home.

I was curious about the class, so I looked it up online to see who the teacher was. Seeing her name transported me straight back in time to 1997. If you are reading this and you went to high school with me, her name is MJK.

In my flashback in time, I am wearing a cheerleading uniform with the skirt rolled as high as it will go without causing suspicion, and my hair is sporting the unfortunate cheerleader bangs from the late '90s that we all know to well. I am sitting between BH and my friend, M, of "I (Heart) New York {2008}" fame. If memory serves correctly, BH is probably sporting his letter jacket and M most likely is studiously taking notes. She is now a lawyer, and I wash sippy cups for a living. (See kids? This is why you should stay in school!)

We are seated at a table in one of those modular units (fancy word private schools use for trailers) and MJK is at the front of the room, imparting her knowledge of Chemistry. Ick. Just typing that word made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. Because M is one of my best friends, she is doing her very best to get me to pay attention.

I am passing the time by thinking about how much more I would rather be in History class because I like History and Mr. S is cute and also how I am in love with BH, who I think is really just enjoying stringing me along. And also how cute I look in my cheerleading uniform. Behind me, JP is furiously scribbling a love note that I will later pretend I never got. (High school girls are mean!!!)

M pokes me as MJK pointedly asks me if I can name the element on the chart she is pointing to. I hold my breath and wonder why the stupid elements don't just have their names on the chart instead of numbers and letters like NGHYRP2. Even at the young age of 16, I must have some inherent knowledge that my mind is destined for things like debating whether or not Marlowe's Faustus ever had a chance, or did Dickens care for the Utilitarians. Oooooorrr...maybe I am just too lazy to pick up a book and learn Chemistry.

In her defense, MJK is a wonderful, sweet lady. She has the misfortune of making the choice to assign me a seat next to BH. I was lost from day one.

I should have failed Chemistry. I got an A on the very first test, but it was all downhill from there. 25, 39, 42 were not my locker combinations...they were very well the grades I received on subsequent tests. I am certain that MJK knew that my lack of studying and application were the cause of my poor work, but I think she passed me because that was the year my dad died, and also I did look very cute in my uniform.

I had MJK for Study Hall the next year, and she was going through her old filing cabinets.

"Oh, Amanda," she said, half to herself. "I found one of your old Chemistry test re-takes." (She used to let us do re-takes...mine were always a half-hearted effort).

"Ugh." I remember saying. "I don't even want to know what the grade was."

MJK laughed. "Oh, this one doesn't have a grade. I think I stopped grading them after awhile."

So, there you have it. If I don't study and put some effort in, MJK is gonna flunk me in Sewing Class, ya'll! Or at least give me a "D"!

I better hit the books....


  1. HA! i was fortunate enough to only have her as a sub, but oh the stories. amanda, now is the time to redeem yourself! make a fancy extravaganza dress a la homecoming court and blow her out of the water!!

  2. so, the only way i passed her chemistry class was by some crazy miracle and the fact that she probably stopped grading our tests too! she was the worst teacher ever! hopefully, she is much better at sewing than chemistry so your ambitious extravaganza dress will turn out amazing! make sure it comes to the top of the knee though, or you might get a demerit!:o)

  3. I hope that she is better at teaching sewing than teaching chemistry. I hated chemistry! Blah!

    Have fun with your class. What do you think you'll make in the class?

  4. Have fun sewing. I love it. I used to make the girls clothes when they were younger and I made Tracy's bridal party dresses. Can't get enough of that machine.


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