Monday, August 10, 2009

Got (In)courage(ment)?

I received my first nasty Anonymous comment here on my blog the other night.

"Anonymous" didn't agree with my conservative views. That's okay with me, honest! I read bunches of blogs each day, and I don't always agree with the writers' points of view. I'd be really bored if everyone agreed with me.

What I don't do is respond with name calling.

Yes, I know I'm fat. Yes, I know I'm white. Do you really need to point that out? Really? My weight is something I'm working on, and I can't help the pale. I think I have some albino lineage somewhere in my family tree.

Although "Anonymous" was correct in her (I know it must have been a "her" because a man would never sink to this) assessment that I am indeed a "fat white lady," it still stung.

No one likes to read their deepest criticism of themselves in print. On their computer screens. Where hundreds of other people will read it.

Not too many years ago, a comment like that would have pushed me into a familiar dark place. A place where a scoop of ice cream would mean running around the block a few times, doing stairs once home, and then hundreds of sit ups until feeling satisfactorily thin again and on the verge of collapse.

The words hurt, yes.

But instead of sinking into that murky hole, I chatted up a few blogging friends. Not only had they felt the sting of a nasty comment or two, but they knew just how to deal with it.

I used my delete button.

I deleted the comment, and I deleted my angry response to Anonymous.

I don't want my blog to be a spot where people stir the pot. I want readers to come here for a smile.

I imagine that's what the girls over at (In)courage had in mind when they created this simply inspiring new site. The tagline for the site is "Take Hope to Heart." It looks like a place for women to stop by for a few minutes in their busy day and find encouragement and inspiration.

So, what encourages me?

The other night, it was knowing that for every "Anonymous" out there, I have twice as many Friends in the bloggy world. Maybe they don't always see eye to eye with me (I know not everyone is as in love with So You Think You Can Dance as I am!), but many of them stop by daily to provide kind feedback and to leave sweet comments to let me know they're reading.

I wish I could invite you all over to share a cup of tea (well, I'd have a mocha), but for now I'll settle for hopping from blog to blog. Thanks to each and every one of you who make an effort to encourage me and others as we share our stories. I hope you'll take a moment to pop over and see (In)courage today as it launches.

Let's find ways to motivate and inspire each other.

{Love to you!}

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  1. Good morning - you could consider that mean comment as someone who reads your blog. So many times, I have no comment to my posts. Love your blog - keep it up. There's alot of narrow minded people out there - oh and I love your Thrifty Treasures and the spelling for Salavation Army - it took me a while to figure out what it was - I can be slow.
    Signed - another overweight, white blogger! LOL

  2. Oh no! I can't believe you received a negative comment! My advice to Anonymous is "click away!"

    If it helps -- I am white and overweight too. We can hang together!

    Hope your week gets better!

  3. I think you did the right thing. I don't delete comments that disagree with me, but personal attacks have to go. There's no call for that kind of thing!

  4. Hey there all sorts of crazies out there - hopefully they'll create their own blog and have a pity party there. I love your blog and think you are great. Totally ignore anon - and move on. Life's too short and you're a better person.


  5. hugs and kisses xoxoxox
    p.s. i just watched the finale of SYTYCD (we were at the beach this weekend, so i missed it) and was excited to see that jeneane (sp?) won. she was my favorite! i can't wait til fall!!!

  6. Well by not lashing back you are the better person. People like that aren't happy and don't want others to be either. Have a great week!!!

  7. I'm so happy you were able to put a positive spin on an awful person. We don't all have to agree but no one has to be nasty. Keep up the positive attitude!

  8. So sorry you had a taste of the "but somes..." At least you are in good company - even Jesus had them. Over and over again in Scripture you see how He performed miracles, helped people and spread love and yet the next sentence often begins with: "But some..."

    I will definitely check out Dayspring's new site!

    Be blessed and feel the love from the rest of us who keep coming back!!

  9. Way to go! I've gotten a few nasty comments too - and I responded "defensively" which I regret now.

    Recently I came across Proverbs 26:4 "Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself."

    You were very wise to delete it and not "answer the fool" - I hope to be wiser in the future too and follow your lead by deleting it!

  10. Hm. Sounds like your "anon" and my recent "anon" might be the same person. Either that, or there's an overabundance of random spineless people that like to troll around on blogs and leave nasty comments in order to add a little pizzazz to their otherwise pathetic lives.

    I'm not bitter, haha!

    Amanda, way to go for taking the higher road and managing to turn that comment into a positive message. You rock, girl!

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  12. How sad. I can only feel sorrow for the fact that she does not know the boundless love that Christ has for us, regardless of color, appearance, views or morals. I really hope she can experience that love someday, and that it will change her heart so she doesn't feel the need to attack others in order to elevate her self worth. You are beautiful, and so infinitely endearing to me!

  13. No Way! For real...someone did that? I'm trying to remember what "conservative" views you've been really vocal about here. are one of the coolest people I "know"! I love ya and if you want...I'll go beat anonymous up!

    I'll definitely check out the new site!

  14. Amanda, you handled this absolutely perfectly. I am so pleased to know you ~~ a person with the highest standards and such a positive outlook on life. Your blog is fabulous and there are a ton of people out there who are very fond of you...just look at your followers!

    Love you, friend ~~ Donna

  15. oh, I can see that some past, ahem, experiences in your life have made you a stronger, more upright person.....imagine that. Good for you for blowing off the foolish and not letting the comment get to you......I never understand why people feel the need to slander someone they don't even know...senseless.

    Love you!

  16. I'm sorry you received a rude anon. I love discussion but despise name calling. I especially detest personal attacks on a woman's appearance. It is mind boggling to me that grown women do that. Glad you didn't respond. I'd take ya up on the tea but I'd invite ya back for a tini. Love SYTYCD. BTW I give free design advice on Fridays if you want to summit something.

  17. Amanda-congrats on your first mean comment--I think it means you must have lots of readers. You did a great thing by delteing and not getting into a conversation with annony!

    Why is it that we hear that one mean comment so much more than the whole slew of supportive, (in)couraging comments? I know I"ve been guilty of focusing on the person that hurt my feelings or misunderstood more than the person that gives a compliement.

    You even pulled up your big girl panties and wrote about it--well done!

  18. I think you took away the best you could from the incident, and of that you can be proud.

    Besides, chances are, mean commenter is white and overweight too.

    Of course, so am I, so she wasn't just talking about you, she was talking about many, many, women. And that isn't an Army you want against you. :)

  19. I'm so glad you came through this with a positive attitude and didn't let some insecure lady push you over the edge. I admit I haven't been keeping up with your blog lately, but I do love the way you express yourself! Keep it up!

  20. THE NERVE!!!!!! i'm so sorry someone isn't intelligent enough to debate you using a real name. how cowardly that someone is so mentally stunted that they resorted to using personal and unfair slams to "get" you. my blood is boiling. >:( so, they aren't a conservative? hmmm....

  21. Good attitude. I don't know the issue, but agree there are always more sides to an issue and opinions than just one. If the reader doesn't like it, they can always just move on.

  22. Oh, sweet Amanda, I'm so sorry this happened to you, but kudos, my dear, for taking the high road. I'm loving (in)courage too, what a fabulous site!
    Love your blog, girl, keep up the good work!

  23. Well, I have to say that you handled the situation with poise and grace.

    I absolutely love your blog and would read it no matter how you look. LOL. Frankly, if someone doesn't like a blog, they can click on that little X in the upper right hand corner. Duh.

    Cheers to you, Amanda, for shaing wonderfully humorous stories of your lovely daughters and your walk through motherhood. You brighten my day. :-)

  24. Amanda, THANK YOU for this post! And thanks to those who added comments too. I so needed this. Believe it or not, Ms. Ann Onymous visited (in)courage this week as well and I was a bit heartbroken over it. Your perspective has really helped me this morning. I'm so glad to be (in) with you!!

  25. Beautifully written and definitely taking the high road. I would say that for every one nasty anon comment you have 1000 nice ones.


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