I have searched high and low for those keys, but I can't seem to find them anywhere. My Panera card was on those keys! This is serious business. Thank goodness my house keys are on a separate ring....
So I think I know what happened to them....
"Ta!" she said urgently. "Ta!"
I followed her into the kitchen where she gestured at the trash can. (Oooooh, "ta." Now I gotcha.) I opened it up and saw the little pink cloth she'd been "cleaning" the coffee table with.
That's when it clicked.
In recent weeks, I've discovered the phone in the fridge (although I think Natalie may have had a hand in that), my TiVo remote in the trunk by the stairs (can I just tell you how panicked I was when I realized I would not be able to turn on TiVo to view my recorded episode of The Bachelorette?), and my wallet in the dog toy box.
I'd be willing to bet my keys that they ended up in the trash two months ago.
I have resorted to putting the trash can up on the rarely-used portion of the counter. Do they make trash can locks? Do they make straight jackets for toddlers? Is it wrong that I really miss my Panera card? I doubt that the rats at the landfill will know what to do with it.
If you see a rat at your local Panera ordering a Turkey Bacon Bravo, kindly divert his attention so I can come and pick up my card.
Oh, and my keys too.
Mystery solved. Elementary, my dear Watson.