Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Blogging Myth #7: Snarky Anonymous Comments Are Okay

It's time for another round of Blogging Myths. This series explores the common misconceptions that many bloggers and readers have about blogging. If you're new here, you can start from the beginning of the series here.

Myth #7: Snarky Anonymous Comments are Okay

It's a temptation, isn't it? If I tell her how I really feel in an Anonymous comment, I'll feel so much better. 

We've all been there. You come across a blog with a post that is ignorantly written, brash, or just plain conflicts with the way you see things. It's easy to think that a simple anonymous comment would fix everything. You'd get things off your chest and maybe the blogger would see things your way.

Chances are that you might feel better (for a minute or two), but ugly comments have a way of weaving themselves into the reader's heart. I still feel sad when I think of a rude anonymous comment someone left for me a year or two ago (my retort was featured at My Favorite Hatemail).

Do you want to walk around with the knowledge that your careless words ruined someone else's day? Hiding behind the anonymity of your computer screen doesn't make your words any easy to digest. There are ways to disagree with someone and get your point across without crushing the other person's spirit.

I do still allow Anonymous comments on my blog because there are readers who don't have Blogger/Google accounts who enjoy offering feedback. You can read more about commenting how-tos in my Commenting 101 series.

Have you ever been the recipient of an Anonymous comment that rubbed you the wrong way?

I still think Thumper said it best in Disney's Bambi (click over for video if you're in a reader or email):


Randi~Dukes and Duchesses said...

I think everyone falls victim to rude comments at some point ... and it's amazing how much a comment can hurt.

Richella said...

Thumper was spot-on; no doubt about it.

I allow Anonymous comments, too--I like to know what readers who don't have blogs or even Google accounts might have to say. One thing I don't do any more, though, is to pay attention to snarky anonymous comments. If someone isn't brave enough to say something mean, I figure I don't need to take the comment to heart.

But snarky comments from people who identify themselves? Those are real day-ruiners. I'd say that if you feel like making a snarky comment, just say the thing out loud--don't post it on someone's blog. Say it, scream it if you must--but don't type it. Let it go. If the blogger you're visiting gets on your nerves so much that you feel they DESERVE a snarky response, then just don't visit that blog any more.

Thank you so much for this series, Amanda! It rocks!

Kelli @ RTSM said...

It is amazing to me the things people will say and do on the internet....things that I'm sure they would never do in real life! I got rid of my facebook account for that very reason! I love Richella suggestion to say your comment out loud and not post in on someone's blog...awesome advice!

Bella Michelle said...

I think snarky comments are a total waste of time. If something bothers you, move on...read something/someone else. So not necessary. The world is a hard enough place to be without adding to someone's stress.

Thanks for this series, Amanda!

Catie said...

Hi Amanda, Fortunately I have yet to receive a snarky comment. But I am very new to this and I'm sure it's only a matter of time. Up until recently I hadn't even seen one on another blog. Sarah at Thrifty Decor Chick talks about them every once in a while and thanks us, her readers, for being so loving to her. Well I was visiting A Beach Cottage and someone left that Sarah a VERY long nasty comment. Why Sarah left it there is beyond me. I would delete any mean comment someone left on my blog. It's my blog and I wouldn't want that bad mojo lurking about. Thanks for "talking" about this topic this week! I don't think some people realize how strong written words can be and the affect they could have on the recipient.

With that I say, have a great day!!! xo

the workaholic momma said...

This is such a great post and I hope the right people read it;) Snarky comments are low and not needed in this lovely blog world where we should be supporting each other!!

Jen @ The Decor Scene said...

This was a great post Amanda!!! And you are a wonderful person..know that deep inside. We love you here! :)

I have received not so nice comments and I have deleted them and moved on. It wasn't as mean as the comment you received though. It's just uncalled for. We don't need to be mean to other people. Just not the world I want to live in. Have a great day Amanda!!! :)

Moddy Bee said...

Wow! I am amazed at how rude people are!! Btw...I'm fat, white, and to top it off 5"11" and i wear a size 16! Whew...glad I got that off my chest. Anyway, I had one annonymous...they were pretty ticked at me. I thought it was so great! I though it was great because they wasted the time telling me their feelings...and I didn't even know who it was!!! What's the freaking point! I'm newish to the blogging community and I had no idea how competitive and catty it can be! The whole stealing thing is pretty lame as well. Thanks for sharing girl! Another great post!

Megan {Honey We're Home} said...

I love Thumper! I got a snarky comment recently and it really hurt my feelings! But it is completely the exception- most commenters are really supportive and nice so I didn't want to waste my energy focusing on the ONE person who wasn't.

Meri @ twofive365 said...

I don't think enough people read what I have to say to care to say something snarky. lol But if they did, I am not sure I would let it ruin my whole day. Would it suck? Yep, but the thing is, I have to remember that not everyone is going to agree with what I have to say, and honestly, I don't *want* everyone to agree with what I have to say.

I have read so many blogs who simply remove the comments that they deem "hurtful" or even just the slightest disagreeable to the blogger's POV, and I find that disturbing.

I am definitely not saying that people should go around being rude to each other all the time in order to disagree, there is certainly a way to disagree or debate without being unduly mean or downright cruel. Name calling and that sort of thing is very grade school--and what adult wants to relive that?! But I think that there should be room for disagreement.

A Randomlicious Blog for the Soul said...

I had kind of a dumb anonymous comment. It didn't really make sense and just had a few cuss words in them. I was like wha???
Love this post.

Paula said...

I would never intentionally leave a comment meant to hurt someone's feelings. Now don't get me wrong, I may think, "That's the tackiest thing I've ever seen" or "Who would wear that?", but I'd never type it. To each his own.

I had one comment that wasn't nice but it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Of course it was an anonymous reader who left it.

If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all!

SueAnn said...

Words can hurt and hurt bad! And you can't take it back

jo_an said...

just wanted to say i really appreciate your blogging tips!. has helped me to understand things about the blogging world i was unfamiliar with. newbie to the bloggsphere!. j

Tanya Anurag said...

Thanks for sharing your views and THAT video.

I second your opinion of not being rude. Appreciation boosts morale and inspire to bring out the best. Rude comments can suppress a person's talent. We see it all around us and is prevalent in blogsphere as well.

And BTW... that video is adorable :) Makes me want to watch the movie.

Lynda @ Uber Savvy Buzzword said...

I am fairly new to blogging and haven't experienced any negative and hurtful comments. I am so sorry that you have -this whole post is really an eye opener. Thank you. Lynda

Julia @ Hooked on Houses said...

I blog with WordPress, so commenting is a little different--"anonymous" isn't a choice for commenters, but some people will type "Anon" as their name. I always know when I see that that it's going to be trouble!

I don't mind dissenting opinions at all but there is a polite way to state your case, and you don't have to get personal.

I rarely delete comments, but lately I've gotten a couple that were so bad I couldn't let them live on my blog. Seems like there's a rash of mean comments being left on blogs in general, which I hate to see.

Great post, Amanda!

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