It's as Simple as Support #sisterhoodunite

This sponsored blog partner post brought to you by The Sisterhood of the Motherhood. Today's post is meant to be directed towards moms, but I think it could really be applied to any woman out there who takes the time to read this. This is a continuation of our discussion on ways to stop the mommy judging. I want to talk about supporting moms, whether they make the same choices you do, or not.

It's easy to support the moms we have things in common with. The mom you invite over for coffee when you're not snowed in, the mom who makes you laugh at every book club get-together, the mom who has the shoe collection and fashion sense you envy.

But what about the mom whose parenting style or philosophy differs from yours?

Maybe she homeschools her kids and yours go to private school. Maybe her family only eats organic food and you are a regular at the Chick-fil-a drive-thru. Maybe her kids have a strict bedtime and routine, and yours are night owls. 

If you're a regular reader, you read about my first breastfeeding experience with my older two kids and know that I was able to exclusively pump with both of them. 

I had everything all planned out for baby number three. I planned to pump for as many months as I could, knowing it would be difficult with two girls in school and activities. I planned for him to be a healthy, thriving, breastfed baby.

But, as we all know, life is what happens when you are making other plans. Fast-forward a few weeks after Harris' birth, and I knew something wasn't right.

After some visits with the pediatrician and allergist, we determined that even after me going completely dairy free in my diet for over a month, Harris was not tolerating breast milk, though he wasn't allergic. Both physicians recommended that we immediately switch him over to a special (very very expensive!!) formula. 

It seems silly now, but despite the fact that my son's pain and discomfort went away within a few hours of starting the special formula, I was wracked with horrible guilt. 

I'd never given any of my babies formula that young before. Everyone up until that point had told me that "breast is best." Would he be okay? Was I a terrible mother? Terrible for not recognizing the signs of his pain earlier (it wasn't colic!)? Terrible for giving him formula? My sister did her best to encourage me, but living hundreds of miles away from each other made things difficult.

I focused more on me and my guilt than the fact that my son was finally able to take nourishment without horrible pain.

Enter Joy.

Joy was a lady I knew from my local MOPS group. She wasn't a close friend, but she knew about our situation. Not only did Joy take the time to encourage me to ignore the guilt and any commentary from other moms, but she offered me support.

We're pretty different. 

Joy has six kids, I have three. She does some homeschooling, mine go to the public school across the street. She likes tea, I like mochas...and so on.

But Joy knew I needed someone to speak some positivity into my life. She showed up on our doorstep out of the blue with dinner. She pulled me aside before our MOPS meeting to see how I was doing and to tell me how cute my new baby was.

But most of all, she let me know that there is no one right way to be a mom. I owe her a huge debt of gratitude. Her kind words helped me see how blessed I was with a baby who was thriving...and continues to thrive a year later.

In the past year, I have learned that you don't have to agree with another mom's parenting choices to support and encourage her. I'm sure that there are some choices I make as a mom that would be different from the choices Joy makes. 

But she didn't let that stop her.

Don't let it stop you.

Find a mom who could use some support this week. Give her a hug, send her a hand-written note with a Starbucks gift card, send her a private email with an inspiring quote, or stop by her house with a plate of cookies (after sampling a few to make sure they aren't gross or anything- I mean, be willing to make that sacrifice). 

Tell that mom that she's doing a great job! She is just the mom that her kids need. 

I guarantee that not only will this make her day, but it will make yours too.

As moms and women, we need to do more building each other up and less tearing down. Social media, especially, seems to be a hotbed of vicious activity. Why fuel the fire with all of the circular arguments going on? Are you really really going to change someone's mind with that article you share on Facebook or the comment you leave on an Instagram photo?

Our free time is limited as is with little ones needing to be diapered, fed, driven to activities, homeworked, bathed, and sent to bed. If we used those little windows of free time as opportunities for SUPPORT, think of what we could accomplish!

It's as simple as support.

What's one way you could encourage another mom or woman this week?

*You can learn more about Similac's The Sisterhood of Motherhood on Facebook and their website. There's also a hilarious Mommy Judging video you can watch!

If you enjoyed this post or found it helpful, I hope you'll click your "Pin It" button to add this post to Pinterest, or a +1 for Google+. And I always appreciate kind comments, Facebook shares, and Tweets!



Disclosure: Similac partnered with bloggers such as me for its Sisterhood of Motherhood Program. As part of this program, I received compensation for my time. All opinions expressed are my own. Similac believes that consumers and bloggers are free to form their own opinions and share them in their own words. Similac’s policies align with WOMMA Ethics Code, Federal Trade Commission (FTC) guidelines and social media engagement recommendations.

Turn Mommy Judging On Its Head #sisterhoodunite

This sponsored blog partner post brought to you by The Sisterhood of the Motherhood. Call it judging. Call it guilting. Call it shaming. The phenomenon of Mommy Judging seems to be everywhere these days, thanks to the power of social media. Moms criticizing and belittling other parenting choices, and feeling defensive for the choices they make for their own families. Today's post is meant to be a discussion of how we can combat the Mommy Judging in a positive way. Let's turn mommy judging on its head. Please join me!

As I mentioned in my last "sisterhood" post, if you have kids, you've probably experienced (or participated!) in Mommy Judging at some point (there's a whole funny video dedicated to it). I've encountered it a few times over the years.

One very uncomfortable instance I can recall was a few years ago with a casual mom acquaintance. She asked where we would be sending our oldest to school for first grade, and was appalled when I told her Natalie would be attending the public school across the street from us.

She could not, for the life of her, fathom why we would not send Natalie to the local private school that T and I both graduated from. Not that it was any of her business, but finances just would not permit that, and (three years later) we love our neighborhood school and are happy with it. The other mom went on and on, even offering *helpful suggestions* as to ways we could send Natalie to the private school. She went so far as to ask why my mom wouldn't use her staff discount for us.

I was embarrassed, to say the least.

I stammered and stuttered and looked around to make sure none of the other moms could hear the conversation.

How do you respond when other parents question your choices? Sometimes they really do mean well...and sometimes...sometimes they just want to validate their own parenting style and make you feel "less than."

I read Amy Poehler's Yes Please back in November for book club. I was surprised to find that I really connected to Poehler over her reflections on parenting. She's a talented, famous, wealthy actress and I am a stay-at-home sippy cup washer.

We couldn't be any more different.

Yet, we are both moms who want the best for our children.

The part that stood out to me more than any other part in the book was Poehler's revelation that just because a woman does something differently than you does not mean it's the right choice for your family. I highlighted the following quote and it's popped up in my thoughts more than once in the past few months.

"Good for her! Not for me. That is the motto women should constantly repeat over and over again. Good for her! Not for me."

Sarah's family lives on a 987 acre farm in Iowa and raises organic llamas and makes felted llama hair soap that she sells on Saturdays in the outdoor market and donates all the proceeds to blind chickens.

Good for her! Not for me.

Leah only feeds her kids kale.

Good for her! Not for me.

Tracy sends her four year old to college prep class five afternoons a week.

Good for her! Not for me.

Get the picture?

This concept of essentially minding one's own business and choosing to react positively was so freeing to me. {the obvious exception being when a child's health and security are involved--"what would a doctor or policeman say?" is my rule of thumb}

Our generation spends a lot of time behind computer and phone screens. It's become second nature to use social media as a platform to expound on the virtues of our parenting choices, add our two cents when someone hasn't asked for it, or to fire off a rapid response when a mom disagrees with our parenting style.

Sometimes it's easy to forget that the woman on the other side of the screen can do without our scrutiny and judgement, hastily typed out as our fingers fly over the keyboard. No, what she really needs is support, encouragement. A friend. A sisterhood.

I'm doing my best to adopt Amy Poehler's mantra when the schooling-sleep training-baby feeding-discipline-organic or non-organic-etc etc etc argument rears its head yet again in conversation or online. Because, quite honestly, there are more interesting things to talk about sometimes. Who wants to rehash the same thing over and over?

No one is asking you to change your mind or stop being passionate about your parenting style. Maybe just choose to focus on positives instead. Remember that we are all parents who love their little ones...and no one method or way of life fits all.

So, while your choices might be "good for [you], not for me," I think we can agree that an effort to support each other in this journey of parenthood is good for you AND good for me too!

*You can learn more about Similac's The Sisterhood of Motherhood on Facebook and their website.

If you enjoyed this post or found it helpful, I hope you'll click your "Pin It" button to add this post to Pinterest, or a +1 for Google+. And I always appreciate kind comments, Facebook shares, and Tweets!

Disclosure: Similac partnered with bloggers such as me for its Sisterhood of Motherhood Program. As part of this program, I received compensation for my time. All opinions expressed are my own. Similac believes that consumers and bloggers are free to form their own opinions and share them in their own words. Similac’s policies align with WOMMA Ethics Code, Federal Trade Commission (FTC) guidelines and social media engagement recommendations.

Stop the Mommy Judging: The Sisterhood of Motherhood #SisterhoodUnite

This sponsored blog partner post brought to you by The Sisterhood of Motherhood. Today's post is a topic close to my heart. I've been thinking a lot about judging and feeling judged. Mommy Judging is everywhere: social media, TV, schools, and play groups. It can be overwhelming. I was over the moon when Similac contacted me about partnering with The Sisterhood of Motherhood, a new campaign for moms everywhere. Join me in watching this hilarious, honest, and encouraging video and we'll continue the conversation below!


"I can't believe they send their son to school there."

"You don't feed your baby organic, whole grain oats grown by nuns in the south of France and hand rowed across the Atlantic in a boat made from reclaimed barnwood?"

"Their daughter dresses like she went through the recycling bin at the thrift store."

"It must be nice to stay home and watch your DVR shows and drink Starbucks all day long."

"It must be nice to get out of the house and go to work and drink Starbucks and relax at a desk all day without a care in the world."

Moms, it's time to be real. Whether you have one child or nine, chances are you've sat on a park bench, roamed the aisles of Target, or been a part of a conversation when you feel judged by other moms for a parenting choice you've made. It could be anything from how you put your toddler to bed, to where you send your child to school, to what you feed your baby.

It hurts, it stings, it's deflating. And it can wash over you and cling if you let it.

If we're being honest with each other, I bet we'd put down our coffee cups for a second, look each other in the eye, and agree that we've probably done some Mommy Judging ourselves. We've turned and done the same thing to others that caused us so much pain.

If you watched the video, you saw that the moms (and dads) were so focused on criticism and one-upping each other that they missed the most important part of a morning at the park: a chance to bond with their children and a chance to connect with other parents.

It took the shock of an impending accident to shake those parents out of their respective bubbles and get them to see past their differences. When it comes down to it, we're all parents who love and cherish their little ones and want the best for them.

What if we took all that negative, frustrating, heavy, binding energy used to hurt and crush others and channeled it into something good, something kind, something encouraging? What if we spent that time focusing on our own loved ones instead of the perceived wrongdoings of other moms?

Yes, no matter what our beliefs, we are parents first.

The Sisterhood of Motherhood is all about a new mindset for moms and dads everywhere. Acceptance is the focus, not our differences. Isn't that refreshing?

CHALLENGE: This week, I challenge you to be on the lookout for a mom or dad who might parent differently than you do. Give them a smile (or a hug, if you know them), a Facebook shout-out, an email, text, or hand-written note, and tell them they're doing a good job!

Tune out the critics and celebrate The Sisterhood of Motherhood! #SisterhoodUnite

**You can follow along with Similac's new program on Facebook and YouTube.

What is one thing you've felt judged for as a mom or dad, and how has it affected you?

If you enjoyed this post or found it helpful, I hope you'll click your "Pin It" button to add this post to Pinterest, or a +1 for Google+. And I always appreciate kind comments, Facebook shares, and Tweets!




Disclosure: Similac partnered with bloggers such as me for its Sisterhood of Motherhood Program. As part of this program, I received compensation for my time. All opinions expressed are my own. Similac believes that consumers and bloggers are free to form their own opinions and share them in their own words. Similac’s policies align with WOMMA Ethics Code, Federal Trade Commission (FTC) guidelines and social media engagement recommendations.

My Favorite Baby Shower Gift

A dear friend hosted a baby shower for me over the weekend, and I'll be sharing pics with you all next week. Today, I wanted to show you my favorite gift that I received. They say "it's the thought that counts," and it really was true in this case.

A few hours before it was time to leave, the girls told me not to come into the kitchen. Their request was followed by lots of loud whispers and paper rustling and "where's the best place to hide this?"

The gift bag was very conspicuous, with its marker covered scribbles among the cute polka dot and baby themed bags from Target that the other guests arrived with. But the envelopes and cards inside melted my heart:

It's the little things, right??

On another bright note, thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers yesterday! Baby boy's kidneys look fantastic and he is a healthy boy. They scheduled my c-section for next month...let the countdown begin!

Kindergarten Kid

How did time fly by so quickly? No, really, I want to know. Michaela Byrd started kindergarten this week....

She's doing the same half day program at the church where she and Natalie attended preschool. They have a great kindergarten program, and she has the same fabulous teachers that Natalie was blessed with for her kindergarten year. With the stinky economy, enrollment is down, so only seven students in her classroom! While I feel awful for the school, I think it will be a nice year for Miss Byrdie...she'll get lots of love and attention!

She marched straight into her classroom and didn't even look back at me as she organized her belongings in her new cubby. Ouch. But it was awesome to see a humongous smile on her face when I picked her up, and she called "I love ya!" to everyone in the room when she left. I'd say that's a sign of a good year!

How did she....

...turn into this big girl?

I really couldn't say.

Any other kindergarten moms or dads out there?

If you enjoyed this post or found it helpful, I hope you'll click your "Pin It" button to add this post to Pinterest, or a +1 for Google+. And I always appreciate kind comments.

House Guest

Once upon a time a month ago, my husband told our neighbors that he "didn't think it would be a problem" for us to dogsit for them for a week. Why any of them thought that asking a high-strung, pregnant, mother of two with two dogs of her own to take on a third dog for an entire week would be a good idea, I really can't say. I agreed to it, but only because I felt like saying "no" would make me look like a big crankypants, which is, in fact, what I am lately.

Meet Eddie.

Eddie the Jack Russell Terrier came to live with us for a week starting Sunday.

It has not been a pleasant journey thus far.

Eddie himself is perfectly delightful. He possesses a charming personality, he likes to snuggle, and he can sit up on his haunches, which I find particularly amusing. With exception of the one time I caught him on the lazy susan on the kitchen table, he's been well behaved. No, my friends, Eddie is not the problem. Even Emma, our somewhat curmudgeonly old Pomeranian, finds him a pleasure to spend time with.

This is the problem:

Since Eddie set his front paws in our backyard, Ellie has been beside herself. She's been like the weird kid on the playground who doesn't know he's weird and is all up in everyone's face, incessantly shouting "play with me! play with me!" until everyone is just sick of him. 

Yeah, it took about five minutes of having all three dogs yipping and barking and carrying on a racket loud enough to wake the dead, or at least give me a splitting headache before I wanted to just drive away and leave them the house. 

It didn't get any better when the sun went down because Eddie insisted on sleeping in a bed. With humans. All night. He didn't make much noise, but he moved around under the covers like a weasel and raised my body temperature to boiling levels. I secretly hoped T would get fed up and go downstairs to sleep on the couch so I could have the bed to myself, but no such luck.

And today is just Day Three! I feel like a prisoner in Shawshank, scratching off marks on the wall with my fingernails to mark the days.

Needless to say, any hopes I had of getting anything done this week disappeared between school schedules, volunteering, dance lessons, and referring the three dog circus.

I should tell you that I am a big dog person. I love dogs. I've never not owned a dog in my life. Some of my earliest memories are of rolling around in the "way back" of our Volvo with an Irish Setter and two English Cocker Spaniels.

I think it's also safe to say that maybe, juuuuuust maaaybe my pregnancy hormones are different this time around. Is it because I'm having a boy? Is it because I already have two kids? Is it because I need a nap? Anyways, I feel like a lit firecracker this week...watch out, she's gonna blow!

Maybe dogsitting is just for the dogs?

If you enjoyed this post or found it helpful, I hope you'll click your "Pin It" button to add this post to Pinterest, or a +1 for Google+. And I always appreciate kind comments.

What's Going On...with Me. And the Blog.

I hesitated to write this post. I started to write it a few times, and then put it aside. But then I realized that some of you have probably wondered why the blog slowed down with creative posts this Spring, and some of you were curious when I mentioned in the pregnancy announcement that this time hasn't been an easy ride.

So I decided to start typing. Not because I feel like I owe anyone an explanation...I have, after all, had a post up every single day since I can't remember when. But mostly because I imagine that some of you have been through similar circumstances, or are currently experiencing it...or will down the road. This is more personal than I typically like to get and I apologize for the length, but here goes nothing....

I took "the test" a whole week earlier than I did with either of my girls. My sister convinced me to, even though things were only a day late. I was a little surprised to see a "positive," but also excited. I made my first appointment at my OBGYN's office, marked it on my calendar, and started the waiting game.

I ended up having to take Michaela Byrd with me to the appointment. I didn't worry too much about it. She's only five and (going for complete honesty here) not the most observant child. She brought a book and a stuffed toy, and I knew we'd be good. I told T not to worry about coming. It's my third time, after all. I knew the drill.

Natalie, on the other hand, would have been on it. "Why are we here? We haven't been here before. Why are there pictures of babies everywhere? Are you sick? Who is that doctor? What is she doing? Why are you wearing that gown?" and so on. Needless to say, I was happy it was a school morning so I didn't have to field questions from Sherlock Holmes Jr.

The first part of the visit went really well. The test they had me retake showed I was definitely pregnant, and we talked about my history of c-sections, etc. Then my doc said I could go ahead and get an internal ultrasound (never fun) to check things out and see the heartbeat, since it was way too early to hear it. 

This began the awkward part. I explained to Michaela Byrd that the lady would be taking pictures of "my tummy" and that she should turn towards the wall and DO NOT TURN AROUND. Sorry, but I didn't think my five year old needed a visual of my internal ultrasound seared into her brain. She happily agreed and faced the wall, asking every couple of minutes if I was doing okay. It was really sweet and probably what got me through the next part.

This ain't my first rodeo.

I knew what things were supposed to look like. I also knew that ultrasound techs are typically smiling and cheerful, pointing out exciting things like placenta and yolk sac and heartbeats.

Mine stared stony faced at the screen and would. not. look. at. my. face.

She didn't say a word when Byrdie asked, "How did Mommy do?"

We were ushered back into an exam room and told to wait. When my doctor came in, she was very sweet and encouraging and questioned my dates, which I was sure of. Then she showed me the ultrasound pic on her laptop and kindly said, in so many words, that they just weren't seeing what they should be seeing for someone at my stage of pregnancy (I think I was about 7 and 1/2 weeks or so along). There wasn't anything in the yolk sac.

I got blood work done twice to check my hormone levels, and spent a week feeling pretty much empty.

I didn't want to talk. To anyone. I did. not. feel. like. blogging. But I had an article due and I also didn't want to have to go explaining things to readers. So I plugged along for a week, feeling angry that I was so sick and tired but had nothing to show for it. They had told me to be hopeful before my next ultrasound, but the underlying warning was that I should be prepared.

I felt awful that I couldn't tell my girls why Mommy was so tired and cranky. I felt bad that I snapped at T so often. But I was also ticked that he didn't understand what I was going through. Couldn't understand. This was something I couldn't control. Couldn't fix. I had two friends I trusted enough to talk to, and they helped me calm down.

I drove to the next appointment alone. Someone needed to take Byrdie to preschool, so I made T do it, and I didn't want our parents to know what was going on. I also wanted to be angry and sullen and bitter by myself.

I sat in the car before heading in to the office and fiercely told God that I was ready to go in and take a pill or get a procedure done or whatever it is they do when your baby stops growing inside you. I clenched my fists and told Him that if He decided to change things up, then I would know it was all Him. I couldn't make it happen. It would be on Him. But I didn't really mean it. I was just ready to go in and take care of things.

Imagine my huge surprise a half an hour later when the (same) ultrasound tech beamed and said, "Look! There's your baby!" and flipped the switch so I could hear the heartbeat.

I'm pretty sure they could hear me in the waiting room when I yelled, "What?!"

I was floored. The ultrasound tech said something about the other ultrasound having been possibly too early to detect anything and something about a tilted uterus, blah blah blah. I wasn't really listening.

Inside, despite the hard, crusty wall I'd slapped together around my heart, I felt very much like the girls did when we finally told them about their new sibling.

And that's where the whole blog thing comes in. If you've been pregnant before, you'll know what I'm talking about. If not, consider this your intro. I don't know if it's because it's the third baby or because I'm not 24 anymore, but I have never been so exhausted before in my entire life.

For weeks, it took everything I had to get the girls to school and dance, take the dogs out, and maybe cook some dinner. Blogging was a necessary evil for a time there. I wanted to keep the site updated and keep my traffic up, but I could barely come up with a round-up post, much less a new recipe or fun creative project.

So the blog just sort of coasted along for awhile.

Now that I'm feeling better (I'll be 18 weeks tomorrow!), I can tackle some projects again. I shared about cleaning out stuff earlier this week, and I'm planning some more home projects. I miss being creative, so I'm hoping to do some crafts soon too. I have a huge home project coming up, so I hope you'll stay tuned.

You may have noticed weekends are different here. I used to share Features from the link party on Saturdays and Sundays, but I had to call it quits. Those posts take an hour or more each to put together, and  were just plain stressing me out. I moved all the Features to Monday, and while it takes away from a regular day of posting, I'm not feeling guilty for spending weekend time on the computer instead of with the fam.

I know this post has reached an epic length, so I'll draw to a close. I just wanted you to know that while creativity slowed down here for awhile, I plan on revving it back up. I appreciate your understanding. I've always enjoyed sharing about my family and home life here, so I'll keep that up without driving you all nuts with weekly pregnancy updates and constant belly shots (blech).

More than anything, I try to keep it real with my readers...which is why you should tune in next Tuesday for a supremely embarrassing house post that I'm sharing as part of a new campaign, but hope some of you can relate to.

Thanks for reading!

If you enjoyed this post or found it helpful, I hope you'll click your "Pin It" button to add this post to Pinterest, or a +1 for Google+. And I always appreciate kind comments.

Technical Difficulties

So it's not as bad as the photo below, but I had some computer difficulties yesterday that left me very frustrated.

My Sony Vaio laptop battery doesn't hold a charge well anymore, and apparently now the charger is dead. This means my computer sits, dark and lonely on the coffee table. Unused. No emails. No Pinterest. No blog posts. (Thank the good Lord for iPhone Pinterest and email)

$90 later, Sony is sending me a new charger for my almost 5 year old laptop (I decided I'd rather pay a gazillion dollars instead of purchasing a cheapo one from Amazon that may or may not have to be returned). Hoping that the new charger, which is supposed to arrive tomorrow, will be the fix!

It wasn't a great week to have this interruption. I have some work I'm doing behind the scenes with another blogger, an article due on Friday, and some promotional work for a local kids' consignment sale. A week that I really needed my stinkin' laptop to cooperate.

At any rate, I wanted to let you all know why there isn't a "real" post up today. I hope to have a guest post from a blogging friend up tomorrow so you'll have something to inspire you before Friday's Weekend Bloggy Reading link party goes live.

Say a prayer for my computer woes, will ya?

Hope to be back to our regularly scheduled blogging very soon!

Feel free to browse my Projects Gallery for some ideas in the meantime....

Signed,
A Disgruntled Sony Vaio Owner
(that would be me, Amanda)

Another Blog Birthday

When my friend Kate announced on Friday that her Centsational Girl blog was turning four, it reminded me to look at my own calendar. Yep, sure enough, Serenity Now had a "birthday" just yesterday! My  very first post went live on February 17, 2008. Never mind that it was pretty much a whole year before I wrote anything else. Just putting my thoughts "out there" was a big step, especially since I had a two year old and a newborn to keep me busy.

No one was reading (seriously, I had to ask my sister to click over and read), but I kept posting because it felt good to have something to say. Over time, readers trickled in. Four years after getting back into the groove of writing (and five years after the first post!), I've had the opportunity to work with some of my favorite brands and bloggers; I've even met some of you!

This blog has evolved from a place to share humorous musings and funny family stories into more of a creative home life blog. There have been times in the past year or so I've been discouraged by the decrease in comments with the popularity of Pinterest and other social media sites. I've considered cutting back on posts and even taking an extended break. Bloggers love to connect with their readers, and that's hard to do when you don't know if anyone is out there.

But I truly do appreciate those of you who take the time to stop by daily and read. Especially those of you who comment. That means a lot...because I know we're all busy! Your encouraging words make me want to keep going. I'd be creating and doing little projects regardless, but the thoughtful comments left here are the fuel I need to sit down and schedule those daily posts to go live at 8 am every morning.

Thanks to everyone for reading and supporting this humble little blog! If you're just starting out, keep plugging away. Make connections with other bloggers, leave comments, and be gracious. I'll never be a Kate or a Sarah or a Nester, but I can be myself and that will be good enough.

What are your favorite kinds of blog posts to read?

Have a great Monday!

Setting Reachable Goals for 2013 (My Resolutions)

Happy New Year, readers! So how did we get to 2013 so quickly? Do you love looking at the empty spaces on a new calendar and think of all the possibilities for the new year? I'll admit that I find it both exciting and daunting. I stopped making "resolutions" a long time ago because I felt like I was setting myself up for failure. But I do like to choose a few goals for the year to work towards. I can't say I was entirely successful in 2012, but here's to hoping that 2013 will be a better year. Here are a few of my personal goals for this year (home goals to follow another day).

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Family and Home Life:

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1. Spend more time reading and working with the girls

I'll be honest. Natalie's homework gets done, and we complete it together without waiting until the last minute...but we could definitely be spending more time working with some flashcards and expanding her reading skills. I like to give her time to decompress after school and dance, but we'll need to work some extra study time in too this year. Michaela Byrd has plenty of time after preschool to play, so we'll have a chance to reinforce some of the concepts she's learning in school this year. I want her to be ready when she starts kindergarten in the Fall!

2. Improve Accountability

Too often, I let the girls trash the place with their toys until I can't stand it any more. Then I flip out and end up cleaning up a bunch of it on my own. We need a chore system with rewards and punishments in place to ensure that our play area doesn't continue to look like a FEMA trailer park after a natural disaster.

3. Regular Meal Planning and Couponing

I still don't have the hang of couponing, but I'm excited to be part of the eMeals blogger team this year. Maybe they can get me on track with my meal planning! I tend to do it in spurts and then fizzle out. I think the key to real savings and success is going to be consistency.

4. More Family Time

T works a lot, but I'd love for us to do some more activities together as a family this year. I think I need to hit my Pinterest Boards and look for some fun, inexpensive things we can do.

5. Entertain

I think I shy away from this, particularly family-style events, because we have a small home. With the lack of a basement or separate play area (with doors), more than 3 or 4 children can tear through this place like a pack of Tasmanian devils in a matter of minutes. But that doesn't mean I can't host my Book Club or invite friends over more often for coffee or desserts. (Friends reading this, please keep me accountable!)

I think hospitality is more of an attitude than the space or things you can provide for your guests. 

Personal

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1. Less caffeine.

I cut back on my vices, Coca-Cola and cafe mochas, in December. I have always been a big water drinker, but  I'm crossing my fingers that I can cut out some more caffeine without turning into a raging monster.

2. More disciplined Bible Study

I tend to sign up enthusiastically for each season's Bible study at my church, and then I let other things get in the way of devoting enough time to properly complete and focus on each lesson. And, really, what's the point of rushing through it all the night before the meeting? I want to be more disciplined with setting some morning time aside to be quiet and study without distractions all over the place.

Blogging

1. Steer clear of the "Social Media Time Suck"

I did a pretty good job in 2012 of using Hootsuite to schedule all my blog promotion for Twitter, Facebook, and Google+. Any other updates that went up were usually just tossed on using my iPhone, so I didn't have a chance to sit and mess around stalking people. 

I do, however, have a Pinterest addiction. A well-meaning "I'll just add this real quick" turns into "ohmigosh how did I spend half an hour on here?". 

2. Less Stress

It is really, really hard to schedule to post consistent content here, every weekday morning, at 8:01 am on the dot. And let's not forget the weekend posts, which also go up regularly. 

The blogosphere has grown so much in the past few years, and I know readers' attention is divided so many ways. I'm tired of competing with everyone else. I'd rather focus on fun projects, updating my home, and my family (!!) than worrying about how my stats look or how many comments a post has. 

This is going to mean saying "no" to some campaigns I'd normally jump at. It might mean inviting a few more guest posters over from time to time, or maybe starting a series to Feature others. 

What about you? Have you set any goals for 2013?

If you enjoyed this post or found it helpful, I hope you'll click your "Pin It" button to add this post to Pinterest, or a +1 for Google+. 

Series Wrap Up: A Season of Serenity at Home

We made it! It's Christmas Eve. As I write this, the kids are in bed, the lights on the tree are lit, and the house is quiet. It feels pretty serene, so I'd say this series did its job! I wanted to take today to look back at this year's Christmas inspiration series, and to thank all the wonderful bloggers who contributed this year.

I definitely had my "moments" this Christmas season. Losing my temper with grumpy kids, freaking out about running out of lights for the tree, stressing over spending another Christmas running around town to "put time in" on Christmas day, feeling that sting of envy looking at another blogger's beautifully decorated holiday home when mine is strewn with toys. 

But, overall, this series gave me the time I needed this month to "detox" from blog stuff. Instead of staying up late to edit photos or work on projects, I was able to wrap gifts and watch Christmas movies. I read stories to my girls instead of throwing together another craft to feature on the blog. 

It was wonderful.

I know that series aren't always popular with readers. We like to see new, regular content from blog owners as often as possible. But blog writers are men and women with families too, and this blog writer knew she needed a Season of Serenity at Home! I appreciate the positive, encouraging comments that many of you left on the posts for the series.

My blogging friends came through this year with inspirational posts, projects, crafts, party ideas, style tips, and recipes. I read each post with all of you, taking notes for next year's Christmas fun.

I hope you found something new and inspiring to take away with you from this series. You can find a round-up of all the posts here. 

Thanks to Imparting Grace, Random Thoughts of a SUPERMOM, She's {Kinda} Crafty, At the Picket Fence, Yummy Mummy Kitchen, It's Overflowing, Two Twenty One, and Michaela Noelle Designs for taking time out of your busy holiday season to share inspiring content with us! You all made my December so much more pleasant and relaxing.

I'll have a short holiday message up tomorrow, but for today, I want to wish each and every one of you a beautiful, blessed Christmas! I'm off to get ready for our annual "dessert buffet" with family tonight!

What are your plans for Christmas?

The IKEA House

If you follow me on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram, you may have seen the news that apparently IKEA came and painted a house up the street from us:

Not only did the homeowner choose a seizure-inducing shade of yellow for his base, but he decided to accent the hideousness with BOLD! BLUE! To add insult to injury, he added a "Lego Block" trim to all the windows and doors. While these colors are great choices for a company logo, they don't translate particularly well to house paint colors.

I was, for a short time, hopeful that maybe the guy was experimenting with drugs and that when he came down from his trip he might see the error of his ways and go back to nice, plain white. No such luck. Not only did he complete the paint job, he left it up.

I find this permanent memorial to bad design unsettling. I feel particularly awful for the owners of the house next door, who just recently renovated their home and finished it out with new landscaping and tasteful gray siding.

I've never wished for an HOA more than when I saw this poor house being slaughtered by poor paint choice. Technically, this home is in a different neighborhood that borders ours...but it still offends my eyes when I drive by. I'm shocked there haven't been any accidents yet from rubbernecking.

Are there any eyesores in your neighborhood?

Fall DIY and Craft To Do List, 2012

Are you a list maker? I like making lists, but I tend to lose the paper ones in the bottom of my purse or in a pile of bills on the kitchen sideboard. Go figure. I feel like I've spent a lot of time this Fall running around like a crazy person, so hopefully a quick Fall DIY and Craft To-Do List will help me stay on top of my goals. I'm sharing a few here today...keeping it simple and (hopefully) attainable.

1. Paint and Update the Kitchen:

Yep, so that wall is pale yellow on top and completely boring. It's been this way for some time now. I'm looking at it as more of a blank slate, and I have a fun plan for it. I was contacted by Dutch Boy to do a review of their paint line geared for kitchens, so I'm super excited to tackle this project. We have all the supplies ready...just waiting for some drywall repairs before I can begin. (When you start a DIY project, it's funny how a bunch of other related ones pop up)

So...the kitchen is going to be painted, I have new window treatments in the works, and some new accessories. With some help from Dutch Boy, Krylon, and Purdy this room should come together this Fall.

2. Continue Operation Update Family Room:

A "budget crisis" derailed this room update for the summer, but I do have a slipcover I need to fit on the couch and some canvases to order. I'd love to get that gallery wall started above the couch...hoping to be inspired sooner rather than later! In the meantime, I am loving my thrift store end tables makeover job. 

3.Update some excessively blah IKEA bins for my Thrift Store Expedit:

I bought the least expensive bins I could find at IKEA, but they are creamy-whitish and very plain. I want to make tags or something cute so the girls know what's inside each bin. As much as I'd love this to be a beautiful display piece; in our home, with our lack of storage space, it needs to be a spot for corralling the girls' stuff. 

4. Try some new crafts.

I still want to try my hand at those lovely DIY photo canvases I'm seeing pop up everywhere. I have a cute Christmas sewing craft planned (just need to pick up some supplies!), and I'm itching to spray paint something before the weather gets too cold.

This isn't DIY or craft related, but I've been doing a lot of thinking about my blog over the summer and throughout this Fall. I'm reevaluating how I spend my time and what is most important. 

Do you have any goals you're hoping to reach this Fall?

2000 (Thoughts on a Blogging Milestone, Q &A)

Over the weekend, this little old blog reached the 2000 mark with "Followers" through Google Friend Connect. I find this shocking and also a bit humbling, considering my own family didn't show any particular interest in Serenity Now when I started out. I used to have to ask my mom to read a post or two. I wanted to share a little about blogging today, and also throw out a chance for a Q and A for those of you who have any questions for me.

I realize that there are lots of bloggers out there who start up, link to 2346 link parties, earn some features, and have twice the numbers I do in a matter of months. I also realize that a lot of bloggers are saying that those Followers numbers aren't a big deal any more, they don't matter, etc. etc.

I actually don't feel that way at all. While I certainly don't think that numbers and stats dictate how fabulous a blog is, I look at those little faces popping up on my sidebar as a means of encouragement. Every time I see a new number there with my "Fabulous Followers," I smile because it's one more person who thought my blog was worth more than a passing glance. 

I don't share big room makeovers or projects every week (Thanks, Monsieur Economy, for everything.) and I limit the number of blog parties I participate in. There haven't been many projects up lately because I've been busy with some behind-the-scenes work and keeping up with Fall activities. I've grown this blog through consistent posting, making connections with readers, and being myself. 

If you're a new blogger, I encourage you to do the same. With the holidays approaching, it can be very tempting to stress yourself out over tossing out big posts every day to draw new readers in. It can be tempting to compare yourself to more successful sites with bigger numbers. It can be tempting to spend too much time on the computer. Believe me, I've been there. I challenge you to let yourself relax a little over the next few months and savor your time with family and friends. If you have a great idea for a post, go with it. But don't let the business of blogging get you down!

That said, I do want to thank every single one of you who took the time to click that little blue "Follow this site" button on my sidebar. Seeing those cute little faces is a great reminder that even if people spend more time Pinning than commenting these days, there are readers out there who care enough to stop in now and then.

I feel like I've been pretty open, but here are a few things you might not know about me:

1. I hate waiting my turn.

2. I cheat at mini golf (see #1).

3. When I was a kid, I used to practice my smile in the mirror in case I should ever act on a sitcom and they might need a cute shot of me for the opening credits. (true story)

4. I have never tried sushi.

So...do you have any questions for me? 2000 Followers and 3 years later...I'm sure there are some stones unturned around here. Any questions about me, being a mom, projects I've done, blogging, pet peeves, etc? I'll try to do another post with answers, so don't leave me hanging! {crickets chirping}

Why I Made the "You Are Beautiful" Mirror

Despite the bazillion blog and website outages on Monday, some of you were able to see the "You Are Beautiful" Stenciled Mirror I made for my girls using some pretty awesome supplies from Martha Stewart Crafts (would love for you to check it out!). It was actually quite a bit different from what I had originally planned to do, but I bet I'm not the only one whose projects turn out differently than what I pictured in my head. I hope you'll forgive my rambling today, but with the project fresh on the blog, I wanted to share my heart.

Why did I use that particular wording for the mirror?

In short, I feel like it's something every woman and girl needs to hear regularly: that we are beautiful, inside and out!

I grew up in a wonderfully loving family. I knew without a single question or doubt that my parents loved me, even if I punched my sister in the nose (true story) or forced my brother to take "manners lessons" with me in the living room (sadly, also true). 

But I honestly don't recall receiving a lot of verbal encouragement or affirmation. Tons of hugs and kisses, yes. But I don't remember hearing "you look so pretty today" or anything like that. I'm certain they must have said it every so often, but I struggled a lot with my looks growing up. From the elementary and middle school years I spent as a shy, chubby girl...to the high school and college years I spent starving myself down to a bony obsessive person, worried over the calories I might consume in a rice cake.

Does hearing "hey, you're a cute girl" make or break your self-esteem?

No, it does not. But I feel like most women I know benefit from a compliment and encouragement, and we do care about how we look. (Or else the fashion industry would be irrelevant). Hearing "wow, you like nice today" can instantly lift my mood. There's a big difference between focusing solely on beauty pageant looks and instilling confidence upon your daughter, teaching them that they should be beautiful inside too. 

My oldest, Natalie, started first grade this year at a new school. She came home the first afternoon and said that a little boy in her class told her she looks like a boy. She didn't cry about it, but she did say that she wanted to wear a mask to school the next day.

My immediate reaction was that I wanted to go to the school and throttle the little cretin, but I kept my voice and face as neutral as possible. I know she's a really pretty little girl; why would that little %&^$$ tell her otherwise?! My husband (rightly) told her that boys are silly and he probably has a crush on her. She hasn't said any more about the incident, but it weighed on my heart.

If I, as a mom, don't consistently affirm my daughters, then who will? The world is out there, waiting to crush their spirits and keep them down. I do my absolute best to make sure my girls know that I think they are smart, kind, special, and, yes, beautiful. Call me crazy, but I don't believe that God makes junk. We're all special in our own ways!

My original inspiration for the mirror was a piece from Blessings Unlimited:

It says, "This is the face of someone Jesus loves"; and it has Jeremiah 31:3 etched onto the bottom.

I wanted to capture the idea of the piece without copying it, and I also knew I probably shouldn't include the Bible verse since it was a sponsored post. (Religious, political, etc. sentiments are really frowned upon for most sponsored posts, unless the sponsor requests otherwise)

So I chose to go simply with "You Are Beautiful." 

The mirror is cute and fun, yes. But as my children grow, I'm learning the power that words have, and how far a kindly spoken phrase can take you. If they should hear "you're stupid" or "you're ugly", I want them to know with complete clarity what utter nonsense those words are. Because I made sure they already know how special they are.

How do you instill confidence in your kids ?

The Nice Side of Blogging

Chances are, if you're a blogger, or a reader, or if you sometimes look at Facebook, or Twitter, or Pinterest, you've seen some recent talk about bloggers having their work stolen by "scraper sites." These scraper sites steal blog content and repost it on their own sites, using the clicks they get to earn ad money. It's really stinky. I haven't dealt with it in several years (knock on keyboard), but many of my favorite blogs are having to change the way they publish their content through email and online reader systems.

Between content stealers, and seeing people leave mean comments on other blogs, and watching people take advantage of link parties, and being overwhelmed with the start of the school year and being sick this week and not feeling at all creative...I had to sit down last night and remember some of the awesome things about blogging.

It doesn't hurt that I get to try out neat stuff from companies I've always admired (hi, Martha Stewart), and I love having a spot to share my own creative projects. It's nice to get feedback from the five people who read this blog!

Something even cooler and more unexpected is that as a blogger, I get to make connections with people I otherwise might not have ever gotten to know! 

This happened most recently when Erin from His and Hers emailed me to let me know she was cleaning out some of her things and wondered if my girls might like some of her old American Girl and Barbie stuff. She knew they are both really into their girlie toys and offered to pop a box in the mail to Virginia.

Never one to turn down an opportunity to occupy my kids with something other than begging me for cartoons, I said yes. And what do you know, a box arrived on our front stoop not too long afterwards, and the girls were overjoyed.

I couldn't get over how sweet Erin was to think of us, out of all the people she might have given those fun books and activities to. 

This is where I have to pause and smile and remember that even though there are stinky people out there who steal blog posts and ideas and leave ugly comments...there are many more who visit blogs to be a source of encouragement, who think of others, who send boxes from other states because they know it will brighten the day of two little girls. 

So, thanks, Erin, for making me smile (and the girls too). And thanks to you, reader, for putting up with a non-crafty-homey-recipe post today. 

Sometimes it's good to remember the nice side of blogging.

What's your favorite thing about blogging or reading blogs?

Summer Blogger Guilt

Every so often I wax philosophical here. Yesterday, I was feeling bad that I haven't had any big DIY or craft projects to share here on the blog lately. Bloggers are often guilty of the "comparison game," and I felt like I haven't been measuring up when I look at the amazing projects I see (and share/link to) every week. A lot of that is due to "budget restrictions," but some of it is summer fever.

Quite honestly, I peeked at my calendar (two weeks until school begins for Natalie), glanced at a book I want to start...and thought "I'd really rather be at the pool right now."

Some of my blogger friends have taken summer breaks, even my friend Kate from Centsational Girl who noted that there's more to life than decorating and DIY projects (and blogging). Sometimes you just need a break from it all, right?

So...no excuses for a lack of projects and tutorials this week. You'll find me with a glass of lemonade this afternoon...reading (and ignoring the massive pile of Barbies in the play area).

How do you carve out a few minutes of time for yourself?

Grace at Home

As a mom of two small girls, there are many times where I send the kids off to bed at the end of the day and feel a complete lack of grace in my home. Did I raise my voice too much when they didn't pick up their toys? Did I spend enough time with them? Should I have folded that laundry instead of watching Downton Abbey on DVR? Why didn't I come up with something better for dinner?

The questions and self-doubt could go on and on. I think that when you have a baby you are immediately embedded with some sort of guilt chip that fires off in your brain cells at least 5 times a day. Many of us live in a perpetual state of mom-guilt. And if we're not feeling guilty, we're feeling guilty that we don't feel guilty. You know what I'm saying?

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After reading my friend Richella's latest announcement about her new linky party over at Imparting Grace, it occurred to me that perhaps I am just not looking for those moments of grace when I should be. 

The whole family (even the four year old!) engaging in a meaningful conversation at dinner, watching my girls play together without shouting or flinging My Little Ponies across the room, taking a moment to reflect with friends at Bible study, just relaxing on the couch with the dog and the man at the end of the day...those are all moments of Grace. 

Richella is my newest sponsor here at Serenity Now, and I've actually had the pleasure of meeting her in person! I wanted to share her own words about this wonderful new link party:

"I want my home to be full of grace, too. I want it to be a place where my family, my friends, and my guests feel special and loved and welcome. I'm betting you feel the same way about your home.


To celebrate all the things we do to make our homes places of grace, I'm starting a new weekly linky party: Grace at Home."

I love Richella's link party idea because it's not just another "come link up your 52 crafts" type of party. This one has purpose. You can share anything related to making your home a place of grace. Talk about encouraging!

Posts that are welcome:
DIY projects
decorating
recipes
hospitality
homemaking tips
parenting
marriage
faith
self-care

Whatever you do to make your home a place of grace, Richella and her readers want to hear about it.

The Grace at Home link party will be open each Thursday, and it looks like she's off to a great start. If you have a post that fits with her theme, I hope you'll edit in a quick link to her blog and link your post up to her party over at Imparting Grace.

And if you just need a little bit of encouragement, please head over to Richella's and spend a few minutes browsing both the links and her beautiful blog. You won't be sorry. I've yet to meet a kinder, more thoughtful, or graceful woman!

Here's to keeping an eye out for those moments of Grace in our lives!

Do you have a hard time spotting Grace in your life and in your home?